The "I find myself copy-pasting other people's blogs so that I can read them at home" Edition

So yes it's true. I am a blog JUNKIE. The fact that I wrote and deleted and tried to write again but ended up deleting everything and then convinved myself that what I wrote was finally, FINALLY good enough for any of my readers out there (I know you're there somewhere) which consequently will attract more readers (because the world revolves around me) but ended up AGAIN, deleting every.single.puny.little.word. that I have typed and it's making not only my fingers hurt but also my brain (mind you that my brain does not appreciate this kind of pressure. It's too much for him*).

Not only that, instead of doing the report or any work-related stuff that I know I should be doing, I resort to reading other people's blogs which in turn leads to constant silent giggling and not just the normal giggling but giggling till you can't bear it anymore which often results in involuntary farts. Do you know how hard it is to hold your laugh with your left palm covering your entire mouth (done deliberately so that the others don't suspect that I'm reading something non work related) and at the same time maintaining the damn-I'm-stressed-reading-this-work-essay-thingy look where your eyes just don't blink to make it more dramatic and real? I swear I almost choked on my own saliva when trying to hold my giggle from turning into a crazy burst of laughter in front of my workmates. Not once but THREE times. I counted and thanked God that I'm still alive. Seriously, God knows how many times I came face to face with near death experience of choking on water thanks to the the laugh-while-you-drink effort.

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............owh sorry, i was trying to get some inspiration from yes, another blog and yes, I put my left hand on my mouth and o why yes, thanks for asking, I did indeed CHOKED on my saliva again............

Anyway, back to my blog addiction problem. I am still not quite sure whether or not I am already an addict. Because you see, based on personal observations, I have concluded that anyone who is an addict of any kind ends up killing themselves with their dead bodies being eaten by stray cats and leaving a huge financial debt behind. Since I am neither dead nor is my body currently being eaten by stray cats (although the increasing number of house flies in the office might suggest that there is a dead body somewhere, or at least an insanely huge ass FREAKING DOG POOP around the office -- seriously if I hadn't known any better, I'd thought that this office is a dog pawn), nor am I in any financial debt whatsoever (No. I refuse to accept that owing $3 for a bloody hot chocolate constitutes as a financial debt), I therefore declare myself as a POTENTIAL (which implies a possibility but never truly) blog addict.

You see, I use the word potential because of the following reasons:

• I think about what I'm going to write when I'm on the bus, when I'm eating and before I go to sleep. I constantly have to revise what I should write about and whether or not it's good enough for my readers, and most importantly me (because the world revolves around ME).
• I wake up thinking whose blog should I read first once the computer is switched on and will I be able to finish up reading the whole huge ass archive (some dated back to the year 1998) and what should be done should I REALLY, REALLY have no time (you know with the work stuff and all). I once in a while (regularly) neglected (completely abandon) my work AT work.
• I COPY and PASTE other people's blogs into word documents (as big as 2MB each) so that I can read them at home before I go to bed knowing that I don't have Internet connection at home and thus making it impossible for me to read their blogs (although, I suppose I can go to an Internet Cafe and pay a huge sum of money which I don't really have and as a result, I might borrow my friends' money and ultimately leaving me broke with a huge financial debt -- I am not going to be this person). This reason alone has made me feel that I am truly on the way to being eaten by stray cats.

And then, I found some more interesting blogs. To my surprise, there are so many out there who face the same problem as I do, although they cleverly disguise the "problem" as something that they like doing and on top of that getting paid for doing it (I know they don't. I checked). My only concern is that these bloggers get like 50 comments, some even 100 comments and there's this one particular blogger who is so popular that she threw a BLOG PARTY for her readers but I have only 5 comments (2 of which are MINE, another 2 by the same person) for the entire 7 posts. That is SAD! And don't even get me going about the constant headache from constant researching for inspiration (hello, life on the bus?!?) and the back pain and the finger pain. However, I hope one day I would become like them (well not in terms of having a life though because two of them live with cats and most probably end up as the town's cat lady whose body gets eaten by their own cats when they die because nobody in the whole damn town knows that thye're dead and one of them speaks to a dog -- While it is true that I have a cat named Paris and that italk to her sometimes, I am still maintaining the fact that I am still SANE). And although my level of wit is still in question, I do write in my own way that reflects who I am and in a rather, sorta understandable English (English is not my first language so lay off and let me blog in peace!).

I have just recently found out that I have readers (thanks Hai). Yes more than 2 people. Maybe 3, or 4 if I'm lucky. They're just shy to leave their comments, to which my respond will be:

"This is SO TOTALLY not the time to be SHY. You can be shy in front of the mirror but clearly, my blog is not a freaking mirror is it now? Or perhaps you see my blog as a metaphorical "mirror" to your life in which I totally understand if I was a shrink or a homeless man, both of which I am not and feel sorry for? Unless you're homeless or a shrink, which is so totally not possible because homeless people can't possibly afford the Internet and shrinks just don't have normal lives (I mean not with the amount of money that they're getting paid for telling lies and talking bull), I suggest you leave your comments and write them like you mean them".

p/s: I am so totally not pissed off or feeling sorry for myself for not getting much appreciated comments. A lot of the bloggers I read now experienced the same situation when they first started ( I told you, I read the whole lot!) so I should be expecting the same thing too. And now, due to popular demand (by that I mean, 1 person request) comments can be made by those who wish to remain anonymous.

ooooh, I have so much more to write about. Keep you posted.