I've Been Busy

I have been busy lately. Busy going out and not getting enough sleep and worrying about money. And add worrying about my life to the list. Therefore, I feel that I have a perfect excuse (4 perfect excuses, in fact) no to post anytime soon. But here's a newletter that I wrote recently, which I hope would satisfy your need to read my blog. My shitty-arse blog. But I'll resume to my regular posting shortly. And by shortly I mean when I am more sane than I am now.

*Note: I used to be the editor of a society in uni and I'm now writing for a newsletter for the coming o-week.

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Ex-Editor’s rant.

Hi all.

Welcome to another year of university life and if this is your first time reading [society redacted] annual newsletter, consider yourself the luckiest person on Earth. And if this is like the umpteenth time you’re reading it, consider yourself equally lucky because we promise you nothing but the best in this edition.

It is the time of the year again that most of us are eager or perhaps too eager (read: not me) to start yet another wonderful/excruciatingly painful (whichever way you want to put it) year of constant studying (partying). To all the first year students (or in my term the freshies), I wish you good luck in your future endeavours as university students, of which you will need especially when the exam period hits (and it’s only a few months to go before the term’s finals – and you thought university is going to be exciting!). To everyone else, I have nothing else to say but may God have mercy on your soul and let you graduate before you turn 30 (unless you’re a mature age student in which case before 80).

University life will be nothing like you imagined it to be. Actually, that’s a lie. Of course you can never get away from the studying part and the constant handing in assignments with tests, quizzes and laboratories in between. And there will always be those sleepless nights and the too-much-you-might-have-a-heart-attack consumption of caffeine in the form of coffee, Redbull, V-drink, Mother and/or a combination of at least two of the mentioned caffeine-filled drinks.

[Based on statistics that I clearly made up, I hereby conclude that these drinks are your best friends. They will never let you down when you need to hand in your assignment that is due the next day but you just start today because you thought you are so awesome you can totally finish it in only 6 hours - max. They, however, are not my best friends because they have never helped me through the toughest times in my university life (read: partying till the wee hours in the morning). In another related note, the little café at Wentworth building called the Dent makes the best coffee ever in the entire university. Ever. And I am not saying this just because ALL the staves are totally cute and I don’t drink coffee.]

However, on the other side of the university life lies a world that is perhaps the Heaven of Earth (I don’t know if this is valid. I’m pretty sure it isn’t. Also, I apologise in advance if this statement offends any religious people out there). This is a world that is filled with joy and laughter, fun and amusement, and fond (sometimes horrible) memories. To be able to find your way to this undiscovered land (I’m directing this to the freshies because I actually have discovered it and so have many other university students), you will need self-perseverance and it requires hard work. I will not reveal the steps on how to get to HoE for there are many. All I can say is if you can’t find it, well, let’s just say you’re missing out. Big time. Or, chances are you are lame.

[Who am I to say that you’re lame? Perhaps, in some culture unknown to me, lame is another word for awesome. I will never know and do not wish to know. So, to get things straight, I am sorry if I offended you with the inappropriate use of the word “lame”. I hope you forgive me. You are totally Lame! (i.e. You are totally Awesome!)]

I think, what I’m trying to say is that university life offers you unlimited supply of anything-ness (I am taking this opportunity to apologise to my English teacher, Ms. Lam for using such bad grammar). It really depends on what you want to do with it. You only rip what you sow*. And in my case, I rip nothing as I sowed absolutely nada when I first came to this university. Well, except for extremely cool friends, awesome education, and fun life.

[I just found out that sow is another word for a female hog. And I was totally forced to write “awesome education” by my ever-so-conscious-almost-paranoid mind for the fear of any lecturer finding out and failing me in every subject. I’m fine failing on my own (lack of) effort, thankyouverymuch. I don’t need their help in this department]

This was supposed to be the Editor’s welcoming note – you know, the usual short and concise. However, since I am neither usual nor short, I figure it’s best to rant about things that I think might interest you. I was fooling myself for a second there thinking that I am interesting and have anything interesting to write about. You are way more of a fool than I am if you think that way too.

On that note, I think I should bid my farewell now, lest I’ll keep on going talking about why and how I cut my own hair (seriously, don’t ask) and discussing why pandas are cuter than koala bears. Enjoy this edition of [society redacted] newsletter because I had poured my heart and soul on this (just so you know, I am a person with no heart and soul to start with so what I’m actually saying is that “I had poured nothing on this”). I hope you’ll find it interesting and informative at the same time and I apologise if you don’t (Now, do you really think I care if you don’t?!** – I told you I am heart-less and soul-less***).

To all, have a wonderful time and God bless.

*Unless of course you cheat your way through all the exams and get good grades in which case you are totally awesome as you rip other people’s fruits by sowing nothing yourself. Lucky bastard!

**I do.

***I have a heart and a soul, well, until last night at least. I swear I made a deal with the devil and sold my life to him/her (devil can be a female too, you know. Or your friend!) for a box of Lindt’s 75% dark chocolate before going to sleep.

Regards,
The best Editor known to man