Bad Day

You ever had one of those days where you would wake up in the morning and know that it’s just going to be a bad day?

I have it today.

And I really hate it.

I woke up late (something not unusual) albeit promising myself that I will, by hook or by crook, be the first person ever to enter that faded white building, which coincidentally is also guarded by a gazzzilion of stray dogs wanting to bite your arse when you are not looking (i.e. my office). I did not take a shower because 1. I was late and 2. d’oh! If you know me, I always take shower before I leave the house, wherever I may be because my hair is like this giant furball that needs H2O to successfully tame it up, lest I’ll be going out with a hat/cap/beanie to cover my now eeeiw-oh-so-gross hair. But since I’m a professional (at least that’s what I’d like to think), I can’t wear a hat/cap/beanie to work. Also, I have a very cool-arse hair that I always like to parade around in, except when I’m having a bad hair day, of course. As my sisters used to say (Destiny’s Child) – if you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em. And I am a person with so little thing to flaunt about (do you flaunt ‘about’? Is this correct?). Also, Destiny’s Child has recently split (I don’t know what this has to do with my cool hair).

So first clue of a bad day – Not taking shower before going to work.

I put on my work clothes and all I can say is that within only one second, I was abducted by aliens who told me that I’m the real Kal-El, or whatever the name of the real Superman is, and that I must wear the stupidest outfit ever so that I will look like a total dork. Since I am the real Superman, I obliged. I mean, what else would you do if you were taken by aliens and told that you were the REAL Superman? So yeah, I am now wearing the stupidest outfit I have ever put on. And just as I was walking out of my room, I realised that my (okay, not really mine but I’ve had it for like ever (2 months) now that it’s technically mine) brown cardigan has oil stains on it. XXL size, I might add (the stains, not the cardigan). As you might already know, oil stains don’t come off pretty easily, especially when they are gotten by being an amateur cook who clumsily squirts squid oil all over him just because ooh, look at this, it’s fun and that he is a total b***h-cook. In fact, I don’t think that oil stains ever come off at all. But because I didn’t have the time to change or anything to change to, I just hurried myself to the bus stop. And hope that the stains will blend in with the brown colour. And that no one will notice. Stupid aliens.

Second clue – Stupid outfit with oil stains on cardigan.

While I was walking to the bus stop to take my first bus, I lost my nose to frostbite. And I was temporarily blind because the strong-arse winter wind is a b***h and decided that it’s funny to make fun of my eyes. I braved the cold winter wind because I still want to get paid and hey, I am Superman (I promise I’ll stop making this statement. It’s starting to annoy me as well). As I looked at my watch and listened to the radio DJ’s talking gibberish (Greek = Gibberish), I knew there was no way in hell I could catch that 8.30 bus. But I was wrong because the bus arrived just when I was about to cross the street, making me run like a homeless guy chasing after dog poops (don’t ask me. I don’t have time to explain) in an attempt to get on that bloody bus. Bear in mind that while I was attempting this heroic mission, the Wind B***h was still playing with me and now messing up my cool-arse hair. So I got on the bus, looking like a dork and everyone was staring at the dork with s**t hair. Awesome.

Third clue – Running for the bus, getting frostbites that cause temporary blindness.

[For the record, I did not lose my nose to frostbite and I did not go blind. Thank you for your concern. And I hate running for the bus/train]

Everything changed when I got to work. I am not having a bad day anymore (or yet) and everything resumes to normal – i.e. blogging, reading blogs, checking facebook, and doing absolutely nothing while pretending to be busy writing reports.

It just goes to show that you might not know how your day will turn out to be. Things for certain, however, are death, taxes and that cold arse wind can cause blindness and frostbite. And that I am the real Kal-El.

Believe it or not. (Take my word and just believe it)

And let’s not talk about last Saturday night, okay?